Indiana Jones: An Archaeologist Digs Through the Truth and Lies (via Asylum)
What, you mean Indiana Jones isn’t 100% accurate? Next thing you’re going to tell me is he’s a fictional character!
Five things you should know about the new Indiana Jones:
I can’t believe none of my friends (with the exception of Pete) were as excited for this as I was. SHAME.
1. It’s better than Temple of Doom (which I rank behind Raiders of the Lost Ark and The Last Crusade, in that order).
2. Shia LaBeouf is surprisingly good. Karen Allen is not. Cate Blanchette, unsurprisingly, blows everybody else away.
3. Russian Communists are the new Nazis.
4. It is a science fiction movie, which I think is fantastic but the majority of the reviews I’ve read think is anything but.
5. Harrison Ford
A. is 65 years old.
B. does all of his own stunts.
C. still makes me fantasize about the day I will meet him, hit it, and never quit it.
D. All of the above.
Have recently been rewatching all of the old Disney movies, especially those that were made under the Nine Old Men - it’s amazing how times have changed!
Just got home from watching Beauty and the Beast at Bri’s and, when not feeling strangely attracted to the Beast (but only in beast form), we quoted along with the movie and made inappropriate responses to all of the adult in-jokes.
Beast: I want to do something for her…but what?
Cogsworth: Well, there’s the usual things: flowers…chocolates…promises you don’t intend to keep…
BFF4LYFE.
How To Make Your Own Judd Apatow Movie
“To create your protagonist, simply take yourself (unless you are a woman, in which case take yourself with a penis), then graft on a glaring flaw that would have made you the subject of fun in High School (a virgin, fat and lazy, a complete pussy). Make sure it’s a flaw that doesn’t prevent them from being charming (such as “face burnt off” or “is Hitler”) and can be easily solved in fifteen minutes (has sex, decides not to be lazy, has sex with Mila Kunis). Do not expect your protagonist to be more charming than Paul Rudd. This is not necessary, nor is it possible.”
“Which A-lister toked up with his younger co-star during filming of their megablockbuster? The duo, along with the youngster’s dad, smoked pot in the star’s trailer, causing the crew to create a code name for when they were stoned.”
I keep meaning to find somebody who would appreciate a re-enactment of this.
