Tonight at work:
Dumbass Underage Kid: Can I have a Long Island?
Me: Sure, can I just see some ID?
DUK: Oh yeah, totally. [fumbles in wallet, hands me a driver's license saying he was born in 1990]
Me: According to this you're nineteen.
DUK: Oops, sorry. [takes the ID, hands me another with the same picture but saying he was born in 1981]
Me: Yeah, I don't think this is going to work either.
DUK: Why? I'm 28!
Me: And that just proves you're underage if you actually think I'm going to believe you're older than me.
May 2nd