Drugs are bad, kidlets.
Rachel: Who wants dessert? [brandishes half a dozen Pixie Sticks]
Me: Ooh, ooh, me! [grabs a blue one, dumps it on the counter, immediately begins cutting lines]
Jessie: Um, what are you doing?
Me: I want to see if I can give myself blue boogers. Duh.
Katie: That's a really stupid idea, Alli. Trust me. Snorting sugar burns.
Me: But there's the potential for blue boogers!
Katie: You really don't want to be doing that.
Me: [finishes arranging, takes a rolled up $20, snorts] OH MY GOD IT BURNS OH MY GOD WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME IT WAS GOING TO HURT THIS BAD?
Everybody: [laughter at, not with]
May 8th
I desperately need to get out of the...
Me: OK, theoretical question.
GM: Shoot.
Me: Say a customer is violent and confrontational towards me. Say said customer threatens me, or throws something at me, or, says, spits in my general direction. Can I, theoretically, punch this customer in the face and not get fired?
GM: [is quiet for a long time] No.
May 4th